I won't go into detail about worship here. This is just a post of what I have been feeling the past six months.
When I spend time at A Place for the Heart during the annual Helser Men's Retreat I get filled to overflowing so that I can go and pour into other peoples lives. Freely I have received and freely I give. Here lately I have watched some things that have gotten me excited. I watch as guys like Josh Baldwin and Jonathan Helser redefine worship, I have watched young 20 year olds leave our church at Dwelling Place and head to places like Macedonia, Serbia, and Greece, and I watch the worship that is coming out of Bethel, Morning Star, A Place for the Heart, and even Dwelling Place and I get excited.
What I am seeing is a generation that knows how to worship and I see a generation that just wants Jesus. They want Him. We enjoy walking and talking with Him daily yes even moment to moment. This is a worship that is so pure that I often times see Jesus dancing waving banners during worship.
From the faithful prayers of those that have come before us I say thank you. We are indeed a generation that burns for Jesus. You have laid the foundation for us to go into another realm. Because of your faithful teachings and examples we did not have to start from the beginning. We burn for Jesus. Nothing else matters. Laying aside all earthly things and coming after the Way, the Truth, and the Life. We love you Jesus and we aren't satisfied with anything ordinary anymore.
As I was pondering this there was a thought that Jesus is coming back for His bride:
Revelation 19:7
Let us rejoice and be glad and give the glory to Him for the marriage of the Lamb has come and His bride has made herself ready.
Revelation 21:2
And I saw the holy city, new Jerusalem coming down out of heaven from God, made ready as a bride adorned for her husband
Revelation 21:9
Then one of the seven angels who had the seven bowls full of the seven last plagues cane and spoke with me saying "Come here, I will show you the bride, the wife of the Lamb
Revelation 22:7
The Spirit and the bride say "Come and let the one who hears say 'Come and let the one who is thirsty come let the one who wishes take the water of life without cost'"
We are getting ready for a wedding. I have spent time in worship and felt the flood of God's love just wreck me. My ideas, my theology, my circumstances were changed. Forever.
My thought in closing is this:
I have been in a place of worship with the Father where there was not earthly feeling that could equate to the euphoria that was felt in His presence. We have not even began to scratch the surface of intimacy compared to the glory that is going to be revealed when we come face to face with Him. And that realization is dawning on this generation that nothing else matters here on this earth. We just want to worship you Jesus.
Wednesday, September 22, 2010
Tuesday, September 21, 2010
Doubts Echo
Shel and I were talking the other night and the subject came up that if we were to file our taxes right now I have not cleared $3,000 for the year. Yes, that is three thousand I did not forget another zero.
This is a conversation that I have had with her as Shelly has usually been the bread winner for most of the past three years. There was a point where I was contributing to the cause in a substantial way but those have seemed to taper off.
Some things that I have walked through in this process are picking up verbal curses from times past, feeling of guilt and shame, depression and doubt.
The verbal curses have been around for some time. My grandfather often said that I would never make anything of my life, my ex-wife, after leaving me, told her mother that I was a worthless drunk and that I was lazy and would never amount to much.
Then take in to consideration the judgments that I made toward my dad who is a chicken farmer down in North Carolina - you know the "I am not going to be like my dad, I am going to get an education and secure a retirement for myself etc etc etc" add it all up and there were some curses and judgments that I needed to pray through.
Another thing that is happening in this season is walking out a word that has placed on the inside of me. Long story short I was able to hold a men's camp meeting where God had placed it on my heart that we needed to be working in the areas that God had placed it on our hearts to work and not where the world said we needed to be working.
An example of this was the decision that I made, based on a word from God with confirmation of scripture, to walk out of one of the highest paying manufacturing jobs in the New River Valley to begin building houses. I walked away taking a 50% pay cut. This freed more of my time up for ministry, family, and restored a peace that had been missing for some time.
If God knows the plans that He has for us shouldn't we be talking with Him to get the information of where we are supposed to be going to work?
So after speaking that to the men there came a testing phase that currently is in its third year for me personally. During this time I have framed houses, worked on the river, worked as a Technology Analyst for a DoD contractor, back to the river, and a manufacturing job just to keep the lights on.
The nights laying awake wondering where the money was going to come from, the echoes of doubt that I had made the wrong decision to leave the arsenal (the high paying manufacturing job) and the time that I placed my hope in a job (Technology Analyst) and the bitterness that ensued from the realization that I was not ready for that position have left me more mature. Most importantly this time has revealed to me the nature and character of who my heavenly Father is.
On a side note the job as a the Technology Analyst was a great position for me to learn. Not about the job but about me. For one the long days just trying to get up to speed to perform my job mixed with the stress of working in the clients office to make a good pay check showed me what the pursuit of money was going to cost. When the cards are on the table I am glad that I did not stay. I am not willing to put in 60+ hour weeks to be "successful". Leaves little quiet time and no family time and was not for me. Some people can handle it with ease. I am not one of those people.
The doubts resound through me. The depression creeps in. I made wrong decisions. I have spoken out against the ways of the world only to be tested. Yet this is what I have learned in the area of finances and jobs. A breakthrough does not mean I have that new job and a breakthrough does not mean that my finances are all taken care of. To me breakthrough is a fresh revelation and perspective on another aspect of my Father's love for me.
During this time I have learned that my Father is indeed gentle in His love for me. That was important because I was not allowing myself any mercy and grace during this time. Another concept that was revealed to me during this time is the fact that with the same measure that I judge myself is the same measure that the Father must judge me. So I am learning to give myself mercy and grace during this time and this season.
If I did mess things up SO WHAT? Romans 8:28
28And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose.
Does that make things any easier when the doubt creeps back in? Nope. But I do take solace in 2 Samuel 22:
31 As for God His way is blameless; The word of the Lord is tested
or
29 For Thou art my lamp, O Lord; And the Lord illumines my darkness
and lastly
33 God is my strong fortress; And He sets the blameless in His way
34 He makes my feet like hinds feet And sets me on my high places
35 He trains my hands for battle So that my arms can bend a bow of bronze
36 Thou hast also given me the shield of Thy salvation And Thy help makes me great
The Father has a plan for me.
Jeremiah 29:11
For I know the plans that I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for calamity to give you a future and a hope.
And when those doubts echo I smile now. For I understand that it isn't about the world, it isn't about me, it is about what the Father is doing and where He is placing me. And that is a pretty safe place.
This is a conversation that I have had with her as Shelly has usually been the bread winner for most of the past three years. There was a point where I was contributing to the cause in a substantial way but those have seemed to taper off.
Some things that I have walked through in this process are picking up verbal curses from times past, feeling of guilt and shame, depression and doubt.
The verbal curses have been around for some time. My grandfather often said that I would never make anything of my life, my ex-wife, after leaving me, told her mother that I was a worthless drunk and that I was lazy and would never amount to much.
Then take in to consideration the judgments that I made toward my dad who is a chicken farmer down in North Carolina - you know the "I am not going to be like my dad, I am going to get an education and secure a retirement for myself etc etc etc" add it all up and there were some curses and judgments that I needed to pray through.
Another thing that is happening in this season is walking out a word that has placed on the inside of me. Long story short I was able to hold a men's camp meeting where God had placed it on my heart that we needed to be working in the areas that God had placed it on our hearts to work and not where the world said we needed to be working.
An example of this was the decision that I made, based on a word from God with confirmation of scripture, to walk out of one of the highest paying manufacturing jobs in the New River Valley to begin building houses. I walked away taking a 50% pay cut. This freed more of my time up for ministry, family, and restored a peace that had been missing for some time.
If God knows the plans that He has for us shouldn't we be talking with Him to get the information of where we are supposed to be going to work?
So after speaking that to the men there came a testing phase that currently is in its third year for me personally. During this time I have framed houses, worked on the river, worked as a Technology Analyst for a DoD contractor, back to the river, and a manufacturing job just to keep the lights on.
The nights laying awake wondering where the money was going to come from, the echoes of doubt that I had made the wrong decision to leave the arsenal (the high paying manufacturing job) and the time that I placed my hope in a job (Technology Analyst) and the bitterness that ensued from the realization that I was not ready for that position have left me more mature. Most importantly this time has revealed to me the nature and character of who my heavenly Father is.
On a side note the job as a the Technology Analyst was a great position for me to learn. Not about the job but about me. For one the long days just trying to get up to speed to perform my job mixed with the stress of working in the clients office to make a good pay check showed me what the pursuit of money was going to cost. When the cards are on the table I am glad that I did not stay. I am not willing to put in 60+ hour weeks to be "successful". Leaves little quiet time and no family time and was not for me. Some people can handle it with ease. I am not one of those people.
The doubts resound through me. The depression creeps in. I made wrong decisions. I have spoken out against the ways of the world only to be tested. Yet this is what I have learned in the area of finances and jobs. A breakthrough does not mean I have that new job and a breakthrough does not mean that my finances are all taken care of. To me breakthrough is a fresh revelation and perspective on another aspect of my Father's love for me.
During this time I have learned that my Father is indeed gentle in His love for me. That was important because I was not allowing myself any mercy and grace during this time. Another concept that was revealed to me during this time is the fact that with the same measure that I judge myself is the same measure that the Father must judge me. So I am learning to give myself mercy and grace during this time and this season.
If I did mess things up SO WHAT? Romans 8:28
28And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose.
Does that make things any easier when the doubt creeps back in? Nope. But I do take solace in 2 Samuel 22:
31 As for God His way is blameless; The word of the Lord is tested
or
29 For Thou art my lamp, O Lord; And the Lord illumines my darkness
and lastly
33 God is my strong fortress; And He sets the blameless in His way
34 He makes my feet like hinds feet And sets me on my high places
35 He trains my hands for battle So that my arms can bend a bow of bronze
36 Thou hast also given me the shield of Thy salvation And Thy help makes me great
The Father has a plan for me.
Jeremiah 29:11
For I know the plans that I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for calamity to give you a future and a hope.
And when those doubts echo I smile now. For I understand that it isn't about the world, it isn't about me, it is about what the Father is doing and where He is placing me. And that is a pretty safe place.
Thursday, September 9, 2010
McClintock Family Update
Shelly and I are in a place that we just are overwhelmed. We have been loved on from day one and since the move it has gotten more intense. One of the things that I have noticed is the overwhelming majority of people are glad that we are here. I am truly a blessed man.
Spending some time with Shel before she left for work this morning we were enjoying the sunrise over the mountain and onto the lake. I mentioned to her and she was in agreement, we are truly blessed. So richly and truly blessed.
One of the big opportunities that has been afforded me during this time is relationships. I have free time (for now) and working diligently to spend time with people. But how do I do that? Love. Matthew 10:8 Heal the sick, raise the dead, cleanse the lepers; cast out demons, freely you received, freely give. This is where the motive of my heart needs to be shaped.
One of the things that God has shown me during this time has taken a shift in thinking for me. Gone are the days of routine quiet times. Checking the box. God has destroyed my religious traditions being here. He has placed it very strongly on my heart to stop and just enjoy His presence. Pretty sweet.
As for accepting the gifts that have been given this is a great teaching lesson. It is easier for me to give then it is for me to receive so people feeding me, giving me a place to live, etc is different. It has been a long road trying to get into a position to accept and not think that I can earn this. I can't. One of the things that God was showing me out on the water the other day was to enjoy what has been given. "This is an extension of My love and you can not earn this" Pretty heady stuff if you ask me. So I am trying to become a human being instead of a human doing.
As my heart is flooded with these blessings I have a strong desire to love on others. This is a circle of love. There is a process to my prayer being answered of wanting to see people as Jesus sees them. I am not yet perfected but I am getting there.
The most amazing thing that is happening here is the fact that I have been encouraged by several people, leaders and non-leaders alike to focus on my marriage. One of the things that I have always said in Christiansburg is for all my shortcomings my marriage was strong as Shel and I both work diligently to build it. But the interesting thing about being told about this is not the fact that I need to work on my marriage but the fact that I felt no pride and I was not defensive and I do not try to defend myself. I simply went back to pray and find out what is going on here. Of all the things to work on here I never would have guessed marriage.
I keep feeling (and time will definitely tell) that this is the start of being released for ministry. My quiet time is crazy good and there is a desire to spend time with Jesus. But love. Oh the love. Love. God is indeed love.
So in this season of our lives I am seeing fruit with Shel and in my personal relationship. God told me from day one before I had ever heard of DPCF that I needed to take care of myself(relationship with the Father, personal healing) and that He would take care of my marriage and those things that concern me. He told me that I had to place them in His hand. I am learning to do that.
1 Peter 5:6 Humble yourselves, therefore, under the mighty hand of God, that He may exalt you at the proper time, (that is part of the process of not being able to financially contribute to the housing situation etc)
humbling myself not allowing blame or the lies that I missed it to enter in the equation but to continue to seek the Father's heart and what He is saying about the situation but the key for us has been in verse 7:
casting all your anxiety upon Him, because He cares for you
God cares for me. The creator of heaven and earth cares for me. Wow!! That is some good news there!
So how have I been doing it? My prayer is simple based on that 1 Peter 5 verse and Matthew 11:28-30 Father I give you my finances, my marriage, my job search, everything that is weighing me down I give it to you and I pray let Your Kingdom come let Your will be done as already having been established in heaven.
That's it. Now I stand on God's word and heed the advice in 1 Peter 5:8
Be of sober spirit, be on the alert. Your adversary the devil, prowls about like a roaring lion seeking someone to devour.
And when that interview doesn't lead to a job, and Shel is frustrated with me about something, or depression is coming at me in waves as I get nostalgic about Christiansburg, verse 9:
But resist him, firm in your faith, knowing that the same experience of suffering are bing accomplished by your brethren who are in the world.
and if I do that there is a promise attached to all of this, verse 10:
and after you have suffered for a little while, the God of all grace, who called you to His eternal glory in Christ, will Himself perfect, confirm, strengthen, and establish you.
I have to stand firm and know what I am called to do here at Smith Mountain Lake in this season. When things are looking bleak or I am entertaining the thoughts of closing down I resist and stand firm in the knowledge that faithful is the One who has called me. The exciting thing and the promise that I hold onto is that God himself is going to perfect me, confirm me, strengthen me, and establish me. I don't need my pastor or anyone else to do it God himself is going to. That settles the timing issue for me.
So in this time of our lives I get to: study and spend time with God, love on my wife and really get to know what makes her tick (after 5+ years I admit I have a lot to learn), love Ginny and Bob who I get the pleasure of being around every day, love on members of the Body here, and learn to just be? God knows what He is doing and I am so humbled and excited to be a part of it.
In closing as I second what Daniel said when he said;
Let the name of God be blessed forever and ever
For wisdom and power belong to Him.
And it is He who changes the times and the epochs;
He removes kings and establishes kings;
He gives wisdom to wise men, and knowledge to men of understanding.
It is He who reveals the profound and hidden things;
He knows what is in the darkness And the light dwells with Him
To Thee O God of my fathers I give thanks and praise.
Daniel 2:20-23
Spending some time with Shel before she left for work this morning we were enjoying the sunrise over the mountain and onto the lake. I mentioned to her and she was in agreement, we are truly blessed. So richly and truly blessed.
One of the big opportunities that has been afforded me during this time is relationships. I have free time (for now) and working diligently to spend time with people. But how do I do that? Love. Matthew 10:8 Heal the sick, raise the dead, cleanse the lepers; cast out demons, freely you received, freely give. This is where the motive of my heart needs to be shaped.
One of the things that God has shown me during this time has taken a shift in thinking for me. Gone are the days of routine quiet times. Checking the box. God has destroyed my religious traditions being here. He has placed it very strongly on my heart to stop and just enjoy His presence. Pretty sweet.
As for accepting the gifts that have been given this is a great teaching lesson. It is easier for me to give then it is for me to receive so people feeding me, giving me a place to live, etc is different. It has been a long road trying to get into a position to accept and not think that I can earn this. I can't. One of the things that God was showing me out on the water the other day was to enjoy what has been given. "This is an extension of My love and you can not earn this" Pretty heady stuff if you ask me. So I am trying to become a human being instead of a human doing.
As my heart is flooded with these blessings I have a strong desire to love on others. This is a circle of love. There is a process to my prayer being answered of wanting to see people as Jesus sees them. I am not yet perfected but I am getting there.
The most amazing thing that is happening here is the fact that I have been encouraged by several people, leaders and non-leaders alike to focus on my marriage. One of the things that I have always said in Christiansburg is for all my shortcomings my marriage was strong as Shel and I both work diligently to build it. But the interesting thing about being told about this is not the fact that I need to work on my marriage but the fact that I felt no pride and I was not defensive and I do not try to defend myself. I simply went back to pray and find out what is going on here. Of all the things to work on here I never would have guessed marriage.
I keep feeling (and time will definitely tell) that this is the start of being released for ministry. My quiet time is crazy good and there is a desire to spend time with Jesus. But love. Oh the love. Love. God is indeed love.
So in this season of our lives I am seeing fruit with Shel and in my personal relationship. God told me from day one before I had ever heard of DPCF that I needed to take care of myself(relationship with the Father, personal healing) and that He would take care of my marriage and those things that concern me. He told me that I had to place them in His hand. I am learning to do that.
1 Peter 5:6 Humble yourselves, therefore, under the mighty hand of God, that He may exalt you at the proper time, (that is part of the process of not being able to financially contribute to the housing situation etc)
humbling myself not allowing blame or the lies that I missed it to enter in the equation but to continue to seek the Father's heart and what He is saying about the situation but the key for us has been in verse 7:
casting all your anxiety upon Him, because He cares for you
God cares for me. The creator of heaven and earth cares for me. Wow!! That is some good news there!
So how have I been doing it? My prayer is simple based on that 1 Peter 5 verse and Matthew 11:28-30 Father I give you my finances, my marriage, my job search, everything that is weighing me down I give it to you and I pray let Your Kingdom come let Your will be done as already having been established in heaven.
That's it. Now I stand on God's word and heed the advice in 1 Peter 5:8
Be of sober spirit, be on the alert. Your adversary the devil, prowls about like a roaring lion seeking someone to devour.
And when that interview doesn't lead to a job, and Shel is frustrated with me about something, or depression is coming at me in waves as I get nostalgic about Christiansburg, verse 9:
But resist him, firm in your faith, knowing that the same experience of suffering are bing accomplished by your brethren who are in the world.
and if I do that there is a promise attached to all of this, verse 10:
and after you have suffered for a little while, the God of all grace, who called you to His eternal glory in Christ, will Himself perfect, confirm, strengthen, and establish you.
I have to stand firm and know what I am called to do here at Smith Mountain Lake in this season. When things are looking bleak or I am entertaining the thoughts of closing down I resist and stand firm in the knowledge that faithful is the One who has called me. The exciting thing and the promise that I hold onto is that God himself is going to perfect me, confirm me, strengthen me, and establish me. I don't need my pastor or anyone else to do it God himself is going to. That settles the timing issue for me.
So in this time of our lives I get to: study and spend time with God, love on my wife and really get to know what makes her tick (after 5+ years I admit I have a lot to learn), love Ginny and Bob who I get the pleasure of being around every day, love on members of the Body here, and learn to just be? God knows what He is doing and I am so humbled and excited to be a part of it.
In closing as I second what Daniel said when he said;
Let the name of God be blessed forever and ever
For wisdom and power belong to Him.
And it is He who changes the times and the epochs;
He removes kings and establishes kings;
He gives wisdom to wise men, and knowledge to men of understanding.
It is He who reveals the profound and hidden things;
He knows what is in the darkness And the light dwells with Him
To Thee O God of my fathers I give thanks and praise.
Daniel 2:20-23
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